There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So, keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you. ~ j.Maxwell
I was reminded of this tonight....I make choices every day of my life...some are good, some are not so good....lately I seem to be making the not so good ones. I cant seem to stay focused to save my life...I am irritated,aggravated, and completely unmotivated. I have gained 6 lbs in the last 5 weeks and even though that truly makes me sad I still just want to keep eating. I have no desire to go to the gym. I am thankful that my hubby is pushing because if he weren't I don't think I would go at all! I finally have picked up my camera again...which is really sad because Shane bought me a new one for Valentines day...I didn't even take it out of the box for a little over a week. I had no desire to do anything! Today I finally knocked out the wedding I was working on when the accident happened. tomorrow I hope to finish up the family session and the engagement session that I have been sitting on... Saturday night I had the pleasure of having dinner with Natalie Watson Norris....she is my favorite photog ever!!! I love the life in her. She truly is an inspiration to me. She invited me to hang out with her for her Easter minis with live baby chicks and I could practice with my new camera...I must thank her tremendously....I had a blast! It felt so good to laugh and see life from someone elses perspective and just to step away from all the heartache that has consumed my life over the past couple of months. I feel like maybe just maybe...I can take my life back. The choices I have made to let grief and anger consume me are making me. I am the only one who can stop these responses in my life. I just have to do it. I have turned around so many times I feel like I am on a merry go round. I am tired of it! I want my life back... I want to smile again, I want to laugh, I want to be excited about my family and my business and be eager to make life work again. I want to have the eagerness to fight the VA for what my husband deserves. I want to have the competitiveness to take my own life back and become the person I want to be. I want to make choices and not mind that they are what makes me because they are good choices. So one breath at a time. I am getting off of the merry go round and I am going to stand on these somewhat unsteady feet of mine and be proud of who and what I am. My choices will make me....and I will be proud of them...After all it is my life and this is my journey....I will lose this weight. Goal for tomorrow....GYM!!!! Family session done and out the door....and to find one thing about me that I love! and one thing I will work on......small steps!
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