Creating Myself

"Life isn't about finding yourself--life is about creating yourself." ~George Bernard Shaw So I got some things accomplished today...not nearly what I had wanted to but more than I had hoped. That sounds crazy but it is the way my mind works. I set these crazy high expectations of myself and then get upset when I dont make them instead of being thankful that I accomplished something. I managed to go to the gym, run an errand for momma, and go to the grocery store. Did I last the whole 2 hours that I wanted to at the gym...nope...but I did last 20 minutes on the bike and go 3.56 miles on a random setting, that went up and down hills. I havent been to the gym in forever so why cant I be proud of myself for making the effort to go...maybe if I get up and make it there tomorrow. I managed to eat somewhat healthier today but have beat myself up for eating 2 doughnuts this morning before deciding that I was going to the gym. I started clearing my desk and working on my list for tomorrow...then I got distracted...so my desk didnt get cleaned off. But I should be proud of all the paper that got sorted and ready for filing and the trash that got thrown away. I started cleaning out my closet today, but didnt have the chance to finish it...it is on my list for tomorrow. I was completely disgusted with myself this morning when I got on the scale and saw that I was back up to 225lbs. I read a statement the other day that a friend of ours wrote on his page about all these women who complain about their weight and never get off their buts to do anything about it. I dont want to be that person. so I only lasted 20 minutes today...maybe tomorrow will be 30. I am the only one who can change me... I feel like I get caught up in stupid stuff and lose my focus on what I should be doing...I feel like....oh wait, I see a butterfly. REALLY! but that is how I feel. I have to work on that. tomorrow is a new page in this book, I am going to bed early with the hopes of getting up and starting a little earlier and creating the day I hope for!